Surreal Notions

I realize I’m hardly innocent.  We all make mistakes and occasionally miss typos.  My grammar teachers would most likely cringe at half of the things I write.  However, I find it slightly disturbing that some errors are more frequent than correct usage.  Take, for instance, a few simple examples of simple diction that seem to fall apart on the Internet (yes, I’m looking at you social networks, instant messages and email).

Severally: One at a time; apart from others

Severely: Strict in judgment, discipline, or government; strongly critical or condemnatory

I understand that severally is a word usually limited to the lawyers (or liars as my law prof, Ken Berke, used to say), but doesn’t this still seem a bit egregious?

I searched Twitter and a few other sites to find good examples of severally used correctly.  With the exception of texts written by professionals, I haven’t found many.  I went back more than a week and every instance of severally should have been severely, which is even slightly shorter!  One would assume people Twitting about should pay close attention to wasted characters.

Or how about something a bit simpler.  Something that I would expect the average third-grader to understand (but suspect wouldn’t nonetheless).

Guest: one who is a recipient of hospitality at the home or table of another

Guess: to predict (a result or an event) without sufficient information

The funny part is guess should be easier to type.  So, either people typically mispronounce these words, don’t know how to type or had really bad English teachers.  Now, it’s most likely a combination of all of those things, but I don’t think I’m asking too much here.

Insure: to provide or arrange insurance for

Ensure: to make sure or certain

Perhaps a subtle difference, but this one annoys me for some reason.  Some dictionaries have added a third or fourth definition to insure that mirrors ensure.  Perhaps I’ve spent a few too many years reading finance and economics books; however, these two words seem very distinctly different to me.  I believe Frank Knight’s definitions of risk and uncertainty probably influenced me here.  Knight defined risk as anything one could calculate and purchase insurance against.  Uncertainty, however, cannot be calculated or insured.  An entrepreneur accepts uncertainty (and is rewarded for it when successful) while purchasing insurance to cover risks.  The entrepreneur has the difficult task of ensuring his investors the project has a good likelihood of success.  It might be anal, but there is an important difference when you attempt to be specific.

They’re: contraction for “they are” (note how it includes both pronoun and verb, so it’s built in an action.. like it’s)

There: at or in that place

Their: used as a modifier before a noun

Okay, these three are a bit of a pet peeve of mine.  Even if you’re typing a quick message on a Blackberry or iPhone, you should be able to take the time to differentiate between a noun + verb, noun and modifier.  These are completely different words!

The list goes on and on.  I could probably write a short novel describing the pains of passive tense alone (thanks Ken).  As Vampire Weekend put it, who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?  I’d just like people to think about their content contributions a little bit more than seem to.*  Semantics might be a dull subject, but it is necessary to effectively communicate… and what’s the point of creating content if it doesn’t communicate?  A strong understanding of the nuances of language improve your ability to communicate and succeed in life.

Ultimately, I’m lazy.  I use big words occasionally, because they articulate my thoughts more accurately, and that means I can use fewer words.  In other words, sesquipedalian people improve efficacy and efficiency by developing concise communication.

That being said, always speak to the level of your audience (after all, communication requires comprehension to be valuable).  Don’t go around using words like sesquipedalian, unless you’re confident your audience either a) knows what it means, b) would like to learn a new word or c) is holding a dictionary.  Otherwise, stick to your audience and focus the communication.  I might get a bit long winded, but I try to be precise (one of the bad habits I picked up tying to communicate with lawyers and engineers).

* Yes, you can end a sentence with a preposition in English.  Your second-grade teacher didn’t know what she was talking about.  The rule, as I understand it, comes from Latin; however, English has a Germanic root, not Romantic.  If you don’t believe me, consider which of these sounds more natural.

• Who are you going out with?
• With whom are you going out?